Something to say ...

*Shed Tears*

Dear you...

I am not her, and she's not me
I can definitely walking in her shoes, while - I am pretty sure - that she can't walk in mine

The thing is,
I spend whole of my life sharing my heart to you
Believe in you
Waiting for you

I did everything to destroy your life so you can understand how miserable my life was without you
Not able to talk to you
Not able to meet you
While you fell in love with someone else.

It's been almost 13 years since the first time
Or 8 years since the 17th

You are free to judge me
That I'm miserably different than any women out there
That I'm a widow, I'm ugly, I'm different, I'm too religious or else...

But my heart seems enjoy living in the box called PAST
No matter how far I've been changed

What did you do to my heart?

You are free to set your life free.
and tell me that I was wrong this whole 13 years

What did I do wrong...
Can you just cast away your spell out of me

I deserve better
don't you think?

You were always there when my world collides
Saying that I deserve something better than this

But don't you realize
That you're always the one who broke my heart
The reason why I'm living in the world I'm living now
And dump me away

You are always good to everyone
except
ME

You are always talk to everyone
except
ME

Remember when you broke your bone
Remember everything you've said at that time
Remember the way you lost your consciousness while you were on the phone with me
Remember the way my mom loves you
Remember the way i love your family

Why couldn't you remember that for me?

Why don't you remember
The way I fight so hard for you but you just go the other way
Go away with another girls
Ignoring my text
Not talking to me
or the way you said "Just pretend we don't know each other anymore"

Why don't you just spend a minute to think
How's my feeling all of these year

Remember the way you cried early in the morning and called me long time ago in high school?
Remember that i always find a way to support everything you do
Remember the way we called each other when i was 10.000 miles away from you

Why don't you remember?
Was it not a good time we had?
Was it deserve to be forgotten?

Dear you...
I think all of these years
You deserve to win the 1st prize as the only person who always broke my heart

Your name is always in every chapter of my life


What does she have that I don't have ?
What does she do that makes you broke mine?
What do I do wrong?

Oh Lord...
I don't understand love until now
Until i stop waiting
So I destroyed my life, my heart, my everything
So I can forget everything about you in my heart
So I can live the way you live
So I can be happy the way you happy
So I can love the way you love her...

But it turns out nothing!

Why can't you see everything I have was real
My love for you is real
No matter how hard I'm trying
I swear to God I try everything
So I can find a way to run from you

Dear You...

Why don't you ...
Because I'm losing myself
And I'm done trying

Why can't you cry the way I'm crying
Why can't you feel the way I feel

How could you be so cruel to me.

Dear you,

I'm begging you to pray
That my heart will realize
That I was wrong all of these 13 years
So the Universe within me will stop thinking about you
Hate you, mock you, forget about you
That my love towards you will suddenly fade away


I've been crying all night for 13 years and counting
We are getting older, but I'm getting dumber and dumber each and every year

What if I die and still loving you this way
What if future come to me but I still love the way i love you
Will you still like this to me?
Will you torture me like this?
Will you just ignore me?


Just like the way you always do.

One day I will die
and you'll go ahead with your life
and there will be nobody

loving the way I love you.