Hijab vs. Skill ( tidak terima jilbab)

Everybody have their own dream.

But what you gonna do if somebody put you into a "life group" that make you can't even explore about yourself

This is the situation i'm facing right now

At first i thought i'm just the only one who felt this way

The way people threat a girl with " Hijab" differently.

I love singing and i love music. I really want to be a famous singer like Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato.

I just figure it out when i was in Washington, DC

I lived there as an exchange student from Indonesia. That was my first time watching Disney Channel USA.

I spent my time watching them on Youtube. I saw a lot of teenager covering their songs and i tried to make one.

I started posting it on my Youtube channel and posted it on Facebook.

I can’t believe that people especially from my high school School Without Walls love it!

You can check it out here , i was totally understand that i had no singing skill at all at that time, but i love entertain people and read all of their comments.

After that my school had International Day at George Washington University. It was my first time singing and playing guitar in front of a lot of people. I was practicing so hard to be able to play guitar and singing a song called “Arti Sahabat” by Nidji. One of the famous band song from Indonesia.

I was shaking all over my body. People are too quite and i’m too afraid that it wasn’t good at all! But they loved it!  I’m feeling blessed and so grateful.

I spent a week hearing them said “ you did a great job! I love your voice fitra!” it’s been everywhere, everytime. Even when i was running try to get into the class on time.

I still remember one of my schoolmate asked me this question “ Fitra! Are you a superstar in Indonesia? Because you are a good singer, a good dancer too? It’s impossible that you are not a superstar!”

I was laughing and tell her that nobody in Indonesia even care about me, they don’t even know who i am.

After that i went on my school talent show audition. I sang my first video cover song called The Climb by Miley Cyrus.

The judge which is also my school teacher was being fascinating. They didn’t even think. Directly after i finished my song they were say YES and accept me to perform on the Talent Show.

So that was my second perfomance.

In DC they treated me equal. I felt good and that was my most wonderful year ever! I never be in the situation when people really appreaciate things i’ve done. That time was unforgettable.

Then i come back home to Indonesia.

I tried to show people that i love singing and still want to entertain people through my singing performance. I joined with an art and vocal club in my university. We were practicing and i got my chance to do singing performance duet with my best friend Venny Johan more than 3 times. But it wasn’t as great as in DC. There weren’t so many people watching over us.

Because of i’m pretty busy doing my college stuff, i can’t stay on that club anymore. I lost my chance to do a singing performance. They don’t even call me anymore.

I miss that moment. I tried so hard to find a band who can accept me and let me join as a band singer. I really want to be like Hayley Williams – Paramore. But unfortunately noone come to me except Venny got that chance. I think it just because i wear Hijab and they think it’s not even cool have a band singer wear Hijab.

After a very long time someone asked me to join with their band. They said it’ s okay for me to wear Hijab and i accepted that. We were practicing a couple of  Paramore songs. But a few days after i talked with one of the band member. They said that “performance” is the most important thing in the band. Good looking girl with a “band” style eventhou her voice is not really good is better than a very talented singer with a "not too good" looking style. He asked me question whether someday i can take off my Hijab while performing with the band.

That was hurt honestly. Do i have to take off my Hijab so everybody can accept my skill? What’s wrong with my Hijab?!Hijab is a part of me. It's like you feel uncomfortable go somewhere without your eyeglasses (of course instead of religion rule). Another thing, I lived in Indonesia , country with the most moeslim population. And most of them wearing Hijab! I couldn’t even believe that they threat me different in my own country.

I never give up .

My other friend told me that his friend is looking for a singer for his band. I thought this time gonna be so serious. After i met the band members, we went practicing.

Realized that my voice isn’t that good for a serious project, i took vocal lesson and it wasn’t even cheap. I had to take my salary for that vocal lesson. I learned a lot of things from that class. But a week later the band leader kicked me out with a reason that he wanted to focus on his other band. Again and again i find myself dissapointed! After a few week later i saw his picture with a new band members. The singer looks so pretty and i bet she is a model and of course she doesn’t wear Hijab.

In my vocal lesson class they told me that my voice is good i just have to practice a lil more to make it perfect. They asked me question “ we gonna ask you to join us and singing in a wedding event or a hotel event but you know you have to take off your Hijab except in a religious event that maybe ok for you to wear Hijab”.

Again and again people threat a girl with Hijab differently.

I start complaining on my twitter. One of my friend said “welcome to the real world!” . She was a model before she decided to wear Hijab but now she’s just an ordinary girl like the other girl who wear Hijab.

I’m getting mad about this. I hate when an actress wear Hijab just because the script tell them to do so. Hello!!! There are a lot of girl who wear Hijab even in the real life and they might become a good actress too compare to them.

But this is the reality in Indonesia. They don’t need skill. They need girl who can wear sexy dress, cute hair etc.

Compare to the real Hijab girl who become a famous model or actress it’s like 1:10 !

Why i want to be a singer??

i really want to be a kind of person who able to give benefit for everybody in this world

Skill that i recognize the best on me is singing

I believe music is universal language, the language that everybody love it

I want to be a peace maker through the music i have

Could you imagine how beautiful the moment when everybody come together as one no matter how different they are just to enjoy my music peacefully

I also want to be an inspirator for everyone, for all youth people out there so they have a faith to fight for their dreams

Believe that the dreams they have will come true if they want to wake up and struggle to make it real.

While i’m gonna write this thing down. I found her. Her name is Yuna. Talented singer who wears Hijab from Malaysia. Her voice is exteremely amazing! Check out her video on Youtube.

When i saw her video i’m totally crying over her. Why this kind of opportunity is still impossible to me. I pray that i still have a chance to make my dreams come true. I really want to be a famous singer because i really love music and fashion. Those things are just my passion in my life! i hope i can be the next Yuna...

Someday.. i hope someday ...