The Fault In Our Stars

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Just to be fair. I would say this is not a review or a spoiler about The Fault In Our Stars movie or book. It's just me talking about it. 
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So, i just finished this amazing book from John Green called "The Fault In Our Stars". I watched the movie first and it was so good and it won't complete without reading the book. So after read that book i came to a conclusion that this is the best and yet my most favourite book this year after Sherlock ( Sherlock is always my only one all the time).

I feel so grateful for my life. I mean Thank Allah swt i don't have cancer or anything that i have to deal with. Sometimes I and probably you drown into complaining each and everyday about how miserable our life is. Like I can always complaining about having a baby in this young age and I don't even know how to be a good mother even if I try so hard each and every minutes. I should be more grateful that I was okay when i was giving birth while other people have to go on surgery. I should be more grateful that my baby was and still grow up as a super happy and healthy baby while other parents have to go to the hospital frequently. I should be more grateful that even when i lost so many people, experienced my father passed out and wasn't be able to talk or even met him for the last time and he was my favourite ones - or other family member that have died - my mother is still here taking care of me and doing great.

Shailene Wood was right. It's not about death or cancer or illness. It's about us value our life and our chance to just enjoy our time or maybe fall in love. We're all gonna die anyway. Also Hazel Grace was right, i don't have to work so hard to leave a mark on this world. I don't have to envy people who went into newspapers like my father did, or fear of oblivion just like Augustus Waters. In ten years or another years after our funeral people will start forgetting about us and keep moving with their lives. Just like I did. Well I kinda still miss my father but I no longer wailing about him each and everyday like the old times but ya i moved on. I'm not living in such a perfect life, I still have to struggle but i should be more and more thankful about it.

I remembered this line " Our life in this world it's just like a field trip. We're just like a tourist, we gonna come back to where we're belong. Before that come back trip we should prepare for every single thing that we need on our way there". So we're not living just to have fun and regret all the way when we're back home. Just like I wish I knew more about USA when I was there, or I wish I talked more fluent in English or learn more French and Spanish so I can be more successful today. Or any other " I wish" things.

Instead, I fell in love with both of this book and the movie. I can rarely see the author of a novel get involved so deep in the movie. But John Green was there the entire time according to the cast interview. So I can feel that the book is actually come into a real life on the movie. Some plots are changing like when Augustus said that He loves Hazel was took place in a plane on the book but it was in a fancy restaurant in the movie. But still we got all the quotes sounds amazingly right on the movie. The way Augustus said "Like a Metaphor" was extremely adorable.

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I fell in love with John Green's words. Just like i fell in love with another amazing authors like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle on Sherlock, 'Dee'wi Lestari on Perahu Kertas. The way he explains about love, all the amazing quotes etc. He also good at broke my heart into pieces. But it would be a privilege to my heart broken by such an amazing author like you John Green.

It was my first time reading a romantic novel wrote by a gentleman. It sounds unique, it's not too romantic but we can feel the feeling between Augustus and Hazel. Love is in the air as we read the book. John Green is a gentleman but he wrote it from Hazel Grace/ a girl point of view but i can't feel the way a women writer always does on romantic novel. When a women write something about love, she melted me as a reader. Like that was a dream that will never come true but seems will come true. But John Green's love is real. He doesn't sell love that way. It wasn't hard to be in love but it wasn't easy to be together and also at the end they are together in different path of life not happily ever after like other novel always do. Which is amazing. As I'm not surprise when the first time I went to his twitter timeline and read how genius he is. Like working together and talk about poverty with BILL GATES is something that might sound incredible to me.

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Also I FELL SO DEEP IN LOVE WITH AUGUSTUS WATERS. I have to capslocks it, so it might sound more like me when I read about Augustus. He was extremely a hot guy with an amazing smile and a super kind heart. He said Hi and never lost his sight on Hazel Grace, Gave his only wish to make a girl wish come true, read a girl's favourite book, be patience with love etc. Which is so adorable. I always get this butterfly on my stomach everytime he said something about love and beautiful to Hazel Grace like i'm Hazel Grace myself. 

I want to date someone like Augustus Waters in real life without cancer and one leg thing. I mean I want a normal REAL person of Augustus Waters. I FELL IN LOVE MORE with The Augustus Waters version of Ansel Elgort!! I mean he just super perfect for Augustus Waters cast. The way he smile, talk and everything. He brought the character alive. Also his chemistry between him and Shailene was perfect too. 

Gus was a guy that every girl ever dreamt of. He smiles when he talk. Read our books just so he can understand our point of view, call us exactly when we need to hear his voice, play video games or basketball just like cool kids do, saying "I had crush", "I like you", "I'm in love with you" in a perfect tone and time, the way he said jokes and everything. I want this Augustus to be alive in this solitary world but more with a good job with a good salary, own his own private jet, being able to travel without asking Genie Foundation to do so and stuff. Just like a combination between Augustus Waters and Mr. Christian Grey altogether plus he is Muslim and a believer just like me :P

Well i feel fine to lived in my dream for so long. I mean it's a free world where i can keep dreaming without losing any money on it. Also it's not impossible to have one like that. I mean there are so many good looking gentleman out there who might be dumb or something for falling in love with me. It could be interesting to be in love with someone who care enough about what kind of book i read and discuss it all night long with me, who find me normal when i think about the story is as real as it might be. Make our dreams come true or just sitting next to us and smile everytime. I will read his too or play his video games or anything in return.

Anyway have you seen Glenn Alinski and Chelsea Olivia's proposal video? See you got my point right? It's not impossible to find our Augustus Waters in real life. We just have to be lucky and maybe begging God more so HE might think we deserve someone like that.

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I spent everyday searching for The Fault In Our Stars. I mean I couldn't get enough of it. It's like my own AIA. I can re-read and re-watched everytime without being bored. So that was a time when I hit Youtube and saw these amazing TFIOS interview, i was shocked by Shailene. She's the real Hazel Grace without cancer and more luck from her hard work rewards. She's a GENIUS!!! I mean every single words that comes out from her mouth was amazing, well phrased. You should see this video of John Green, Ansel and Shailene talked about love and had to draw it by buzzfeed. Shailene was like Steve Jobs that just invented an Ipod Touch and explain it to public. Each and every time she talks about something makes her more than just an Actress. I went through all of her video, the 101 hugs tips, the way she talked about TFIOS or just random conversation about Ansel, even Ansel himself might agree with me. I'm in love with her. I mean i've never been in love with an Actress no matter how cool Anjelina Jolie is on her movies, i never fall in love the way i surprisingly in love with Shailene Woods. Well i always love Selena Gomez, but Selena Gomez is such a sweetheart kind of girl. This Shailene Woods is more like Steve Jobs in a girl's body. Her words are like a poetry she just talk like nothing happens. Her explanation about everything is always deep like everything is such a serious matter like a smell from a guy body that she explained.

She should write a novel and i'll be the first one who fell in love with it.

Too much love on this blogpost this time. Well thank you John Green love is in the air of my head that include all of these imagination of love, Augustus Waters smile (great enough to make me smile all the time like crazy), Shailene great words and all of your great quotes. As i said i lived in my imagination - the world safest and happiest place. One of unknown 3D space that only me and my brain would visit. I might to know whether you have something like I do or it is just your brain doing amazing stuff like producing great sentences? Or do you have spell that you have to say on each pages so we will always falling in love with your amazing work?

Nice to know you John Green, Shailene and Ansel Elgort.
Even just from nowhere that those prof. of technology had invented.

Me and my brain love you.

Most Recent Blogpost...

Dilema banget ya pengen nulis pake Bahasa Indonesia apa Bahasa Inggris.
Kalau pakai Bahasa Inggris nanti pada gak ada yang baca *ngarep banget minta di baca*. Yaa siapa tau just like I did, i learn from some random blogpost, read their story and learn from it.
Kalau pakai Bahasa Indonesia, ntar ilang pula skillnya. Just like my Japanese and French.
Kalau campur-campur ntar kaya apaan tau dibacanya.

Well Anyway...

The first time i hit and see this blog of mine - i said to myself "WHAAAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED HERE!!!??"
I felt like a walking dead on my own blog.
This is ugly..

A lot of things happened in my life. I was pretty busy so that i have to kept my eye on it. I should spend at least an hour every week to write it down. So I won't forget things that i have to write.

I have a son ( in case if I start pretending to forget about it) that hit his 1st birthday this month. He was pretty active. By saying active i mean he's expert on hitting, biting, throwing, crying, running, hiding, climbing all the things that I have no idea how can that little body full of chubby fat with the cutest smile and laugh do such things. I ran out my energy and patience everyday. It requires a lot of skill than I've learned in college! *They didn't teach me how to handle that creature anywayssss*

I had worked with an awesome International Company who run by the coolest, kindest, the most good looking and the smartest leaders I've ever met. Everytime they smiled at me, it melted the whole universe of mine. I can't help myself hahahaha. Well it was an amazing experience ever, yes the job not just the bosses. I'll tell you more about that.

I read a lot of books and saw a lot of movie that almost killing me. I'll let you know why.

About Politics.
This country is such a mess. Everything is just a mess!
People start to acting that they are smarter than a Political Science Bachelor or any Professor or Master of whatever from Political World. They being fooled by those political issues but they proud of it.
I think i have to retired sooner than i thought.

Here, back in my hometown politics is such a bullshit. Everyone talk about it like they knew exactly what happen. While someone like me who spent my college year living with some national politicians, reporters, interviewers and finished my Bachelor degree on Political science who prefer being recognize as an International Relations researcher - knew what exactly happen behind the scene - get to hear those people talking - SUCKS!! I prefer to walk away and start to think that being a Bachelor makes you look stupid than people who have nothing on them but louder voice to speak. Yeah once again, Welcome to the POLITICAL WORLD, when those smart people fool the dumb and the dumb fooled themselves and rules the world.

I also got a chance to meet some random and super annoying people that get into my social media, talking about non-sense things and i replied it ( The dumbest thing i've ever done this year). That my ex boyfriend's girlfriend for example ( Hi there! i knew you'll read this *tongue out for 10 secs*) was talking about "dirty mouth" which she thinks it's such non polite words to use in public. Who is she anyway? A bachelor of word inventor who went to Word Police University?

How silly our life is
So that's the reason why I should keep on writing it before I forget everything and die.

Well that's it. Just want to remind myself that i promise my blog and my son's blog to come back soon, i have a lot of things to write.

See you soon!

Oh My Poor Son

Dear My Lovely Son,

I'm so sorry for being like this
I'm sorry for not having a lot of time to spend with you
I'm sorry that I have to work 24/7, each and everyday, no weekend at all
I'm so sorry that I yell at you sometimes
I'm so sorry that I ignored you

Please don't hate me for what I do

You should know that the house's bills is too expensive
You should know that your future school will be too expensive
You should know that your diapers is too expensive
You should know that your daily meal is too expensive
There are more too many expensive items in this world that i can't afford for you
Unless I spend all of my time working to earn some money

Believe me i really want to spend all of my time with you
Believe me i love to laugh with you
Believe me i love hugging you until you fall asleep
Believe me i love to calm your crying
Believe me i will do everything to make you happy

I'm sorry ... i woke up early in the morning to go to work
I stayed up all night finishing my job
But I can't sleep and have to woke up a hundred times to calm your crying, to breastfeeding you

I'm sorry... sometimes i yell at you because I have to finish my job and it's so stressful
I ignore you because I have to work on my task
I'm sorry to make you cry

Please don't hate me
Please do understand
I need money for your future
I need money for our family
I need money for our happiness
To make sure you will get all education that you need to learn
To make sure you will stay safely under our rooftop
To make sure my mother is healthy

I hope someday you will understand
All the challenges we face
Something had to be sacrified

Someday i will find my time just for you
Someday we will laugh together
Someday i will hug you all day
Someday we will earn a lot of money to give you happiness

Please don't hate me
I know you need me
I will do everything to make you stay with me
We spent 8 months together each and everyday
It's time for you to grow up
Just like i always said
Big boy don't cry
Promise me you'll be the nicest kid I've ever know

If someday you you will hate me
Just remember to always do everything that Allah swt and Rasulullah have said
That's more than enough for me
Because I'm not perfect
I hope i still be the best mother you ever had
at least I'm trying

I love you honey.
Be strong!
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