Tampilkan postingan dengan label hijab. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label hijab. Tampilkan semua postingan

I LOVE You Yuna !!!

If you know me you should know that I love Yuna Zarai so much. Happy Eid Mubarak Yuna and all of your family. May Allah swt bless your day and your carrier of course. I listen to your newest album and I LOVE IT and always listen to it everyday.
If I should pick a song from your album, I will pick Fading Flowers because it always echoing in my head.


Check out her official website here and don’t forget to buy her newest album on itunes!! : http://www.yunamusic.com/ 


Happy Eid Mubarak Everyone!


Happy Eid Mubarak for all muslim in the world!!!


Hi everyone. Wish you have a lot of fun with your beloved family in this such amazing Eid’l Fitr’. I’m grateful that this year I enjoyed this moment with all of my family. Eventhou it’s sad to feel that we lost our grandfather and Mitha’s father this year may Allah swt forgive all of their mistake and allow them to spend the rest of after life in heaven. Amiin Al- Fatihah.

Not fun part is I’m sick. Totally in bad flu I feel awful but I still having fun and took full rest couple hour later :P. Also I didn’t get THR ( special money special from Eid’l Fitr’ blessing moment) I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and I suppose to be the one who gave them THR. It reminds me how fun Eid’l Fitr’ when my father still alive. He always gave everyone new clothes, THR and drove us somewhere fun. Noone do such a thing like that today Pa… We miss you.


You guys who know me so well probably explore something “new” from me from all of the picture I attached on this event. Hahaha. I dress up! FYI it wass all from my cousin’s closet. I spent 2 weeks sleepover have fun with her kids.








Here is Yoga the one who always talking about me. Who tells me that I’m fat! Look at him now, the time I’m getting thinner he is the one who looks fatter. HAHAHA!





This is Mitha. The one who has the wadrobe I wore on this picture. I didn't have a dress for Eid'l Fitr', i was wearing an old boring dress from my Mom's old closet and i feel sad about that, i look older than my ager. Then suddenly she said "How about wearing my dress?" and she chose these wadrobe and fyi it's all new from the newest style too. Lol!







 Here’s Mitha’s kids Caca and Raffi. Raffi is the one I always talk about on twitter. He imagining himself as a Batman since his mother brought him to watch that movie. What a kid!






I wish all of you also have so much fun too.
Love <3 span="span">


My Hijab Story



Hi Guys,
Assalamualaikum :)

Now it’s time for me to share my story about what makes me want to wear hijab.
I thought it was started with a funny and weird story.
My Mom and Dad went to do Hajj together in 2000. I was just 8 years old at that time so they didn’t bring me to come with them. After they came back from Hajj that was the first time I knew what a hijab is.  I recognized my mom wear hijab after Hajj, hijab at that time was just a muslim dress that I wear just for celebrate Ied’l Fitr’ . But after I saw my Mom wears hijab I asked her to wear hijab too when I was 9years old. I still remember that my Mom said that I’m not ready to wear hijab because I was too young.

On school vacation we went to Jakarta. We went to one of the biggest mall there. My Mom and I took a look at Muslim fashion booth, suddenly I saw a group of family. They were a Mom who wears hijab, a Dad and 3 daughters who all of them were wear hijab too. One of them was nearly under 5 years old. I don’t know what I feel, the thing I still remember was when I looked at that little girl who wore hijab I feel ashamed with myself. I wasn’t wear hijab, I wore short sleeves t-shirt with a jeans. Suddenly I locked myself inside the fitting room until that little girl disappeared with all of her family. My Mom was trying to find me, from the fitting room I shouted that I don’t wanna get myself out from it until she buy me a hijab for me to wear. I was feeling so guilty with myself by not wearing hijab and I told my mom from that day that I want to wear hijab just like that little girl. So there’s no reason for me not to wear hijab even I was too young for it.

Alhamdulillah after that event Allah swt gave my father rizqi for me and my Mom to go Umroh together. I admit that I wasn’t really understand what I’m doing but I follow all the instruction during Umroh. It was an incredible experience for me I spent a long time on the plane from Jakarta to Jeddah. I spent night at Jeddah at Marriot hotel and the next day after that we went to Madinah. We visited Masjid Nabawi and Prophet Muhammad pbuh. I was crying, everyone was crying because I believe I felt like prophet Muhammad pbuh still there, all of us miss him. After that we do Umroh from Madinah to Mecca. We spent day in Mecca to pray. I also visited the place to do Lontar Jumroh and the place where Prophet Adam and Hawa met in earth at the first time. Overall I’m so grateful that Allah swt gave me chance to do umroh even in my young age.

We never know what Allah swt plan’s are. Me and neither my Mom never expected that the time after I celebrate my 10th birthday right 18 days after that my father passed out. Me and my Mom was at home in Samarinda but my Father was in Jakarta. My mom was still on the phone at around 3am that day, I was suddenly sleep-talking when they were on the phone but my Mom didn’t give me chance to talk with him. Noone knew that was the very last time we could hear my father voice. He passed out at around 4-5 am. He was totally in a good health but Allah swt love him and want him to be next to Allah swt.
That was totally my hard times. Losing someone you love the most when you were just only 10 years old. When the time goes by, I learnt a lot from that. That nothing in this world stays forever, but there is still Allah swt The One and Only who will always stay next to you.

I’m not perfect, hijab doesn’t change you from human being who always do mistakes to an Angel, no! absolutely not!. I did uncountable mistake in my whole life even when I wear hijab. I faced thousand of trouble in life such as people try to take my hijab away from my head, people judge me for every single mistake I made, people treat me like I don’t even exist, people ask me to take off my hijab if I want to get a job, people don’t allow me to sing or even do whatever I love to do and all kind of things. But it doesn’t make me give up on wearing hijab. I even took it off when I was losing my mind, but Allah swt always keep me on the right track. I believe Allah swt is the one who makes me wear hijab, no one told me to wear it. When I get older I realized that hijab is A MUST thing to do as a muslim girl. It’s written in Alquran and Prophet Muhammad pbuh also explained it in Hadits. So if you really love Allah swt and The Prophet you don’t need any reason to make you do it because you HAVE to wear it.

I was kinda upset to the girls who wear hijab but doesn’t follow that has been written on Al-quran and Hadist. I’m not judging the way people wear hijab but if Allah swt tell you to cover your body , cover your hair, head , neck till your breast, why don’t you do it? We can’t use fashion as an excuse to not wearing hijab as the way it supposed to be. If you wear hijab and don’t even follow Allah swt and Prophet Muhammad pbuh instruction and someone out there follow you, you will be the one to blame, the bad example.

So I wish Allah swt protect us for every good things we do. Once again, I’m not perfect even I’m wearing hijab but I’m still on my way trying to make myself better day by day and try to not doing any other stupid mistake, I learnt from the past and learn from the others. So, this is me telling my story, I hope I can inspire you like I was inspired by other muslim from all over the world.
May Allah bless our life and our age :)
Have a nice day you all!

am I on the right track?


Hi Bloggers?? wat's up?

I can't sleep (Again!) . Everytime i try to sleep, i just keep rolling up and down with eyes closing. No matter how tired i am i still can't sleep. Seems like my whole body reject it.
I know there is something i can't rid out of my mind. This is about dream i've been dreaming about.
Seems like i've been torturing myself watching a bunch of successful singer on Youtube. They were just ordinary people like me at once, lived in a small town around a thousand of people holding their own dream.
am i doing something wrong here? is it wrong for believing this dream might be come true someday? I believe God has his own plan for me but am I in the right track??

I don't know

why i keep questioning myself a question i can't even answer it? why this is happen to me?
i'm not easy to give up but this, totally hard for me.

Why there's noone out there care about me, about my life, about what i love to do with my life, about my dream, about all my good ideas, about my charity program, about ME want TO MAKE A WORLD PEACE THROUGH MY MUSIC!! WHY!

why there's noone out there pay attention about what i gotta say on my twitter or my facebook or myspace even youtube video. WHY?



I'm tired of being all alone in this world while there's a lot of good thing i can do. Why nobody ever listen to me? Even my mom! I wish my father still alive, hug me and listen to every single word i say.

I love being different but i hate being ignore. Why i have all of this dreams spinning around in my head without knowing how to make it happen. I've been work so hard practicing, promoting, sending my demo or everything i can do ALL ALONE. Just because there are a lot of people done this and they got it.

I don't know what to say. This is my dream. What should i do then?
Why Justin Bieber, Yunalis Zarai, Alyssa Bernal, Savannah Outen got it all?
will i become one of them?
is this just a dream that i have to wake up and realize that this is won't happen in the real life?

Why there's noone helping me out to make me special?
I know, i'm not rich, i'm an orphan, i don't have someone i can lean on, i have nothing but believe in this world. I believe that someday i can be special, believe that this dream will come true, believe that i'm a waste of space.

am i on the right track?
is my voice good or not? am i deserve this or not? am i talented or not?

What can i do? i really want to give up bu i can't! it won't help anyway.

God ... i'm alone in this world. I've been working so hard, please at least give me something that can draw a smile on my face forever. I'm begging you.

It Feels Good

This year is one of the year that i hope i will wake up and make my dreams come true.
I still remember the way i had strong believe to fly and stay in the United States as an Exchange Student.
Eventho it wasn't easy as it seems. I have to compete with almost half of every student in Indonesia.
Eventho there was always someone who wanted to bring me down.
It wasn't easy at all! But i hold my faith. I believe Allah swt always here right beside me. Hear me begging for my dream in every single second of my breath.
Fortunately dream is really do come true. I flew to Washington, DC as an exchange student in 2008-2009.
I learned a lot of things that i couldn't find here in Indonesia.



This year i'm begging for another dream. I'm a kind of person who don't wanna live as an ordinary people. Because Allah swt gave us something extraordinary to work with it.
So many things i have to face no matter Sad, Happy, Tired, Dissapointed moment i have to go through
I will always put capital B-E-L-I-E-V-E on my heart every single time.
I don't care with those people who really want to let me down
I believe my dream again will come true and Allah swt will always here arranging what are the best thing i should have.

This time my dream is not that simple. Seems like impossible but let see what i can do with it!
I want to get my singing career go International like Yuna Zarai did. Yes! i'm still crazy about the way she got her dream come true.

It is not about me. It's all about i want to create peace through my music, because music is Universal language. When it comes to music everybody no matter who you are, where you are come from, what language do you speak, you will come together as one.

I also want to be like Selena Gomez who joined UNICEF to help kids all over the world, wanna be like Monique Coleman who named as first UN Youth Champion, wanna be like Lady Gaga who worked with MAC for Girls Protection.

So i have this idea to help School For Blind Children. We do raising donation by selling T-Shirt. For futher information check this link out : Give Donation fo School For Blind Children


I just want to do something in my youth age. I lived all alone here in Jakarta so i want to make sure that i can be something helpful for everyone around me.

I have this BIG passion in music as a singer and you couldn't even imagine. I always cry every single time i watch GLEE because i really do want to sing every single thing that happened in my life. Want to have someone i can share with who accept me for whoever i am. I want to sing on stage see everybody smiling at me and bring the happiness that they will never forget. I always cry every single time i watched Justin Bieber performance on TV or Youtube because i want to make my dreams come true.

So this whole month i've been work so hard to send my Demo to all International and Indonesian record label. I got a couple really good feedback. No i'm not get sign yet but i believe someday i will get that chance. But those people who gave me feedback was from International Label Record.

Someone from Arfa Records Team said : " It was a pleasure to hear your demos. Mashallah, you are endowed with a
melodious voice. Your passion to be a role model for young Muslim girls
also deserves appreciation. We pray to Almighty Allah that He may bless
you with great success in your pious pursuits, amen.


As we currently don't have any set-up in Indonesia and your traveling to
Pakistan isn't also feasible, so we regret that we won't be able to record
you in the studio and hence will be unable to release your album." 

But i'm not easy to give up. I keep send my Demo to all International Record Label all over the world.

A singer from Arfa Records sent me message he said : 
"Dear Sister Fitra Elnurianda,


Last night, in an Islamic music concert in Lahore, Pakistan, I met our manager A&R and he mentioned about your demos. The situation reminded me of that time when I was myself a new struggling artist and no record label was interested to sign me. You are a naturally talented artist and have the ability to become a successful Islamic singer"

And also someone from Lure Records said something to me : 
" Fitra
Dreams do come true, It is sad that every thing cost money in this world. I know you have something special. See what Budget you can come up with and we can go from there. Best of Luck to you. You are a Artist! "

Read all of those message make me keep holding this believe tighter and tighter. I believe Allah swt will find the way for me to make my dreams come true. It just a beginning. I will stand tall! I believe i born to be somebody ( Thanks to Justin Bieber for singing "Born To Be Somebody" and Lady Gaga for " Born This Way" song)

Today i got another email from someone from Lure Records. He wanted me to listen to their song called "It Feels Good". I definitely fall in love with this song. This song is Universal and Its talking about your dreams coming true and doing things that you never thought you could and it feels good!

Thank you so much for all those people in my life. They don't know who i am. They never see me before, but they gave me all of those support. It means A LOT to me!

Someday i will find my wings and give a try how far i gonna fly.
Someday i will be the first Indonesian who kick Grammy's stage and cry out loud my grateful feelings for whatever i've done to make my dreams come true.

I will always believe
I was born to be somebody
Someday my dream will do come true
I believe it with capital B-E-L-I-E-V-E


She Reads My Blog Post :)

Hey... i'm so happy yesterday. 
first : ZeroNine was visiting my home and WE totally HAD FUN !

the second thing was :

YUNA Retweeted my blog post that I wrote previously..

here it was :



Thank you so much for YUNA and her MOM who read my blog and gave me an advice to stand up for my dream..

May Allah swt. bless you all :)
Thanks for made my day :*

Hijab vs. Skill ( tidak terima jilbab)



Semua orang punya impian mereka sendiri.



Tapi apa yang kamu bakal lakuin kalau ada seseorang yg nempatin kamu ke dalam "kelompok kehidupan" yang bikin kamu gak bisa ngembangin diri kamu sendiri



Ini adalah situasi yang aku hadapi saat ini



Dulu aku berfikir kalau cuma aku yang ngerasain ini



Cara orang memperlakukan cewek berjilbab dengan sangat berbeda



Aku suka nyanyi dan aku suka musik. Aku pengen banget jadi  penyanyi terkenal seperti Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus n Demi Lovato.



Aku baru nyadar sewaktu aku di Washington, DC



Aku tinggal di sana sebagai siswa pertukaran dari Indonesia. Itu pertama kalinya aku nonton Channel Disney Amerika.



Aku ngabisin waktu nonton mereka di Youtube. Ngeliat banyak remaja yang posting video n nyanyiin lagu-lagu mereka, terus aku coba buat juga.



Aku mulai posting di Youtube n diposting di Facebook juga.



Aku gak percaya  orang-orang terutama dari sekolahku “School Without Walls” pada suka!



Kamu bisa cek videonya disini , Aku ngerti banget deh aku gak bisa nyanyi waktu itu, tapi aku suka ngeliat mereka semua terhibur trus baca semua komentar dari mereka.



Trus waktu itu sekolah aku ngadain “International Day” di George Washington University. Itu pertama kalinya aku tampil nyanyi sambil main gitar di depan banyak banget orang. Aku bener-bener latihan main gitar yg waktu itu aku bawain lagu "Arti Sahabat" nya Nidji. Salah satu lagu band terkenal dari Indonesia.



Aku nervous banget!. Waktu aku tampil semua orang diam, aku takut banget kalau suaraku jelek.Ternyata mereka suka! Aku ngerasa beruntung banget n aku bersyukur banget.



Hampir satu minggu tuh aku denger orang-orang bilang, " Kemaren itu keren banget fitra! Suara kamu bagus banget"!. Dimana aja kapan aja, bahkan waktu aku lagi lari-lari biar gak masuk kelas telat.



Aku masih inget temen satu sekolah aku pernah nanya "Fitra! Di Indonesia kamu artis ya? Soalnya kamu nyanyi bagus banget, nari bagus banget, gak mungkin kalau kamu bukan artis! "



Aku ketawa trus aku bilang di Indonesia mana ada yang kenal apalagi peduli sama aku, aku orang biasa kok.



Setelah itu aku coba ikutan audisi talent show di sekolah. Aku coba nyanyiin lagu pertama yang aku bikin videonya “The Climbnya Miley Cyrus”



Gak nyangka juri yang notabene guru-guru sekolah aku langsung kaget. Mereka gak pakai pikir panjang setelah aku selesai nyanyi mereka bilang aku boleh manggung di talent show



Jadi itu kedua kalinya aku manggung.



Di DC mereka memperlakukan aku sama. Aku ngerasa kalau waktu itu tahun yang terbaik yang pernah ada. Gak pernah ya seumur-umur aku ngerasa di hargain banget semua yang udah aku kerjakan selama ini. Pokoknya gak terlupakan deh.



Terus aku pulang ke Indonesia.



Aku coba nunjukin ke semua orang kalau  suka nyanyi n masih pengen banget menghibur orang lewat nyanyi. Aku gabung ama ekskul seni n nyanyi di kampus. Kita latihan n aku dapat kesempatan tampil nyanyi duet ama sahabatku Venny Johan lebih dari 3 kali. Tapi gak sekeren yang  di DC. Waktu itu yang nonton gak terlalu banyak.



Karena sibuk kuliah, aku gak bisa gabung di ekskul itu lagi. Aku kehilangan kesempatan untuk manggung-manggung lagi. Bahkan aku gak dapat tawaran manggung lagi dari mereka.



Aku kangen manggung banget. Aku berusaha nih nyari band yang mau nerima aku jadi vokalis. Aku pengen banget jadi kaya Hayley Williams - Paramore. Tapi sayangnya yang dapet kesempatan itu Cuma si Venny. Kayanya sih gara-gara aku berjilbab jadi susah cari band yang mau nerima aku.



Udah lama banget, terus ada yg minta aku gabung ama band mereka. Mereka sih bilang gak apa-apa aku pakai jilbab, jadi aku mau gabung sama mereka. Kita latihan bawain lagu-lagunya Paramore. Tapi beberapa hari kemudian aku ngobrol ama salah satu anggota bandnya. Dia bilang penampilan itu penting dalam band. Cewe yang punya penampilan pas buat band walaupun suaranya pas-pasan lebih baik lah daripada cewe yang ga punya penampilan “band” banget tapi suaranya bagus. Dia juga nanya kira-kira bisa gak suatu saat nanti aku manggung gak pakai jilbab.



Aneh sih sebenernya. Emangnya aku harus lepas jilbab biar bisa diterima kalau aku bisa nyanyi? Apa yang salah dengan jilbab?! Jilbab itu udah jadi bagian dari diri aku sendiri?. Sama kaya orang yg gak enak kalau kacamatanya gak di pakai (tentu aja selain alasan agama). Hal yang anehnya lagi, ini kan Indonesia! Negara dengan populasi penduduk muslim terbesar. Dan kebanyakan dari mereka pakai jilbab! Aku gak percaya kalau aku di intimidasi, diperlakukan berbeda di negara sendiri!



Aku gak pernah menyerah.



Temen aku yang lain bilang kalau temennya dia lagi cari vokalis. Aku pikir kali ini bakal serius. Abis aku ketemuan ama mereka kita latian.

Sadar suaraku gak bagus-bagus amat buat band yang mau serius, aku ikutan les vokal dan itu gak murah. Kudu ngorbanin gaji kerja aku untuk ikutan les vokal. Banyak sih yang aku dapat dari kelas itu. Tapi beberapa minggu kemudian yg ngajakin band itu “males” gitu nerima aku jadi vokalis, alasannya dia mau fokus ama band dia yang baru. Ya aku kecewa lagi lah. Eh gak taunya beberapa minggu kemudian aku ngeliat poto dia ama personil band yang baru. Vokalisnya cantik banget n kayanya dia model, ya tentu ajalah dia gak berjilbab.



Di kelas vokal mereka bilang sama aku kalau suara aku itu udah bagus banget tinggal di latih lagi biar lebih bagus jadinya. Terus mereka nanya gini “ ntar kamu kalau mau, ikut kita manggung di acara-acara kawinan, atau acara di hotel tapi ya gak boleh pakai jilbab kecuali ada acara-acara religi yang kamu boleh pakai jilbab”



Lagi lagi dan lagi cewek berjilbab itu di intimidasi dan di perlakukan berbeda.

Aku mulai ngeluh di twitter. Salah satu temen aku bilang “selamat datang di dunia nyata!” . Setau aku sih dia dulu model sebelum dia mutusin untuk pakai jilbab, sekarang dia ngerasain apa yang cewek-cewek berjilbab rasain.



Aku mulai kesal sama semua ini. Banyak banget dah artis yang pakai jilbab gara-gara tuntutan peran doang tapi sehari-harinya enggak, padahal ya banyak diluar sana orang-orang berjilbab yang aktingnya bisa lebih jago daripada mereka.

Tapi ya inilah kenyataan di Indonesia. Mereka gak butuh skill. Mereka butuh cewe yang gak banyak aturan, bisa pakai baju apa aja, rambutnya bisa diapain aja dll



Perbandingan cewek artis atau model terkenal ama yang engga itu ya 1:10!

Alasan kenapa aku nyanyi??
aku pengen banget jadi orang yg bermanfaat bagi orang lain
Kemampuan yang aku paling tau dari dalam diri aku sendiri ya musik yaitu nyanyi
Aku percaya musik itu bahasa universal, bahasa yang di cintai semua orang di belahan dunia manapun
aku pengen jadi orang yg bisa menciptakan perdamaian dunia melalui musik yg aku punya
Kebayang kan gimana bahagianya ngeliat orang yg walaupun berbeda satu sama lain tapi bisa sama-sama menikmati musik yang aku punya dengan damai?
Aku juga mau jadi inspirasi bagi orang lain, orang-orang muda di luar sana biar mereka bisa membela mati-matian impian mereka
Yakin kalau impian itu bukan cuma sekedar mimpi kalau mereka mau bangun dari tidur dan berusaha mewujudkannya



Waktu aku mau nulis tentang ini aku ketemu seseorang. Namanya Yuna. Penyanyi berbakat yang pake jilbab dari Malaysia. Suaranya keren banget deh pokoknya! Cek aja deh videonya di youtube.



Waktu aku ngeliat videonya dia, aku tiba-tiba nangis. Nangis kenapa dia bisa dapetin kesempatan berkarya seperti itu sedangkan aku enggak. Aku berdoa dan berharap aku masih punya kesempatan untuk mewujudkan semua mimpi ma harapan aku. Aku pengen banget jadi penyanyi terkenal, soalnya aku bener-bener suka sama dunia musik dan fashion. Hal-hal itu udah jadi bagian dari hidup aku banget!

Semoga aja aku bisa jadi Yuna yang selanjutnya...

Suatu saat nanti.. ya aku berharap..suatu saat nanti




Hijab vs. Skill ( tidak terima jilbab)




Everybody have their own dream.

But what you gonna do if somebody put you into a "life group" that make you can't even explore about yourself

This is the situation i'm facing right now

At first i thought i'm just the only one who felt this way

The way people threat a girl with " Hijab" differently.

I love singing and i love music. I really want to be a famous singer like Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato.

I just figure it out when i was in Washington, DC

I lived there as an exchange student from Indonesia. That was my first time watching Disney Channel USA.

I spent my time watching them on Youtube. I saw a lot of teenager covering their songs and i tried to make one.

I started posting it on my Youtube channel and posted it on Facebook.

I can’t believe that people especially from my high school School Without Walls love it!

You can check it out here , i was totally understand that i had no singing skill at all at that time, but i love entertain people and read all of their comments.

After that my school had International Day at George Washington University. It was my first time singing and playing guitar in front of a lot of people. I was practicing so hard to be able to play guitar and singing a song called “Arti Sahabat” by Nidji. One of the famous band song from Indonesia.

I was shaking all over my body. People are too quite and i’m too afraid that it wasn’t good at all! But they loved it!  I’m feeling blessed and so grateful.

I spent a week hearing them said “ you did a great job! I love your voice fitra!” it’s been everywhere, everytime. Even when i was running try to get into the class on time.

I still remember one of my schoolmate asked me this question “ Fitra! Are you a superstar in Indonesia? Because you are a good singer, a good dancer too? It’s impossible that you are not a superstar!”

I was laughing and tell her that nobody in Indonesia even care about me, they don’t even know who i am.

After that i went on my school talent show audition. I sang my first video cover song called The Climb by Miley Cyrus.

The judge which is also my school teacher was being fascinating. They didn’t even think. Directly after i finished my song they were say YES and accept me to perform on the Talent Show.

So that was my second perfomance.

In DC they treated me equal. I felt good and that was my most wonderful year ever! I never be in the situation when people really appreaciate things i’ve done. That time was unforgettable.

Then i come back home to Indonesia.

I tried to show people that i love singing and still want to entertain people through my singing performance. I joined with an art and vocal club in my university. We were practicing and i got my chance to do singing performance duet with my best friend Venny Johan more than 3 times. But it wasn’t as great as in DC. There weren’t so many people watching over us.

Because of i’m pretty busy doing my college stuff, i can’t stay on that club anymore. I lost my chance to do a singing performance. They don’t even call me anymore.

I miss that moment. I tried so hard to find a band who can accept me and let me join as a band singer. I really want to be like Hayley Williams – Paramore. But unfortunately noone come to me except Venny got that chance. I think it just because i wear Hijab and they think it’s not even cool have a band singer wear Hijab.

After a very long time someone asked me to join with their band. They said it’ s okay for me to wear Hijab and i accepted that. We were practicing a couple of  Paramore songs. But a few days after i talked with one of the band member. They said that “performance” is the most important thing in the band. Good looking girl with a “band” style eventhou her voice is not really good is better than a very talented singer with a "not too good" looking style. He asked me question whether someday i can take off my Hijab while performing with the band.

That was hurt honestly. Do i have to take off my Hijab so everybody can accept my skill? What’s wrong with my Hijab?!Hijab is a part of me. It's like you feel uncomfortable go somewhere without your eyeglasses (of course instead of religion rule). Another thing, I lived in Indonesia , country with the most moeslim population. And most of them wearing Hijab! I couldn’t even believe that they threat me different in my own country.

I never give up .
My other friend told me that his friend is looking for a singer for his band. I thought this time gonna be so serious. After i met the band members, we went practicing.

Realized that my voice isn’t that good for a serious project, i took vocal lesson and it wasn’t even cheap. I had to take my salary for that vocal lesson. I learned a lot of things from that class. But a week later the band leader kicked me out with a reason that he wanted to focus on his other band. Again and again i find myself dissapointed! After a few week later i saw his picture with a new band members. The singer looks so pretty and i bet she is a model and of course she doesn’t wear Hijab.

In my vocal lesson class they told me that my voice is good i just have to practice a lil more to make it perfect. They asked me question “ we gonna ask you to join us and singing in a wedding event or a hotel event but you know you have to take off your Hijab except in a religious event that maybe ok for you to wear Hijab”.

Again and again people threat a girl with Hijab differently.

I start complaining on my twitter. One of my friend said “welcome to the real world!” . She was a model before she decided to wear Hijab but now she’s just an ordinary girl like the other girl who wear Hijab.

I’m getting mad about this. I hate when an actress wear Hijab just because the script tell them to do so. Hello!!! There are a lot of girl who wear Hijab even in the real life and they might become a good actress too compare to them.

But this is the reality in Indonesia. They don’t need skill. They need girl who can wear sexy dress, cute hair etc.

Compare to the real Hijab girl who become a famous model or actress it’s like 1:10 !

Why i want to be a singer??
i really want to be a kind of person who able to give benefit for everybody in this world
Skill that i recognize the best on me is singing
I believe music is universal language, the language that everybody love it
I want to be a peace maker through the music i have
Could you imagine how beautiful the moment when everybody come together as one no matter how different they are just to enjoy my music peacefully
I also want to be an inspirator for everyone, for all youth people out there so they have a faith to fight for their dreams
Believe that the dreams they have will come true if they want to wake up and struggle to make it real.


While i’m gonna write this thing down. I found her. Her name is Yuna. Talented singer who wears Hijab from Malaysia. Her voice is exteremely amazing! Check out her video on Youtube.

When i saw her video i’m totally crying over her. Why this kind of opportunity is still impossible to me. I pray that i still have a chance to make my dreams come true. I really want to be a famous singer because i really love music and fashion. Those things are just my passion in my life! i hope i can be the next Yuna...

Someday.. i hope someday ...
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